Blog No. 258: Dopamine Decor, Story by Rachel Macy Stafford Over A Leaky Toilet, Achievement

Dopamine Decor

When I told people I was going to paint my new kitchen bright yellow, the almost universal reaction was pale yellow, right? When I assured them I was going to go all out with a bright sunshiney lemon yellow, I think most people thought I was kind of crazy and maybe a bit tasteless...And then the next question was, "your landlord is going to allow that?!"

The truth was that I remembered Irmi Selver's Cape Cod kitchen from when I was a little girl and that bright cheery space stuck in my mind for sixty years! Even my Dad, who was Mr. Brown Beige Guy, loved it! So when I dared ask my really nice landlords, and they said "go for it," (the current kitchen was depressing dark navy blue walls and navy blue cabinets), I jumped at the occasion.

Turns out, who knew that the term Dopamine Decor is a current trend. And it is consistent with the theme of this newsletter. Joy! Happiness! Color! Positive Energy! Even Elle Decor has written about how Dopamine Decor can affect your whole being and it is neurological...

Story by Rachel Macy Stafford Over a Leaky Toilet

I came across this story by Rachel Macy Stafford on substack and felt in her a kindred spirit. It is about Arthur, a plumber she connected with when he came to fix her leaky toilet. This touching story about simple human connection felt so familiar to me that I wrote her and asked if I could share it on my substack newsletter too. This was her reply: "I am so honored by your request! I love the common themes of our work. Yes, you may absolutely share the story about Arthur in your weekly newsletter."

Here the story about a simple every day encounter in its full glory, including the poem inside the story that touched Arthur and prompted their connection:

GET OFF THE SCALE
by Rachel Macy Stafford

Get off the scale. It cannot measure the depths of your heart.

Put down the measuring stick. It is not long enough to assess your worth.

Ignore the score. It does not show your true potential.

Don’t get hung up on the salary. It doesn’t even come close to showing your value.

Ban the mirror. It cannot reflect how much you are loved.

Ignore the critic. It has no idea how far you’ve come.

Instead, look for evidence of a day well lived:

I made someone smile. I gave a tender kiss. I hugged and wasn’t the first to let go.

I encouraged. I laughed. I believed. I forgave. I lived. I loved.

What is most important in life cannot be measured, but instead felt through the hands, heart, and soul of each life we touch.

-Rachel Macy Stafford, Only Love Today, (p. 55)

Simple Lesson re: Achievement from Winnie The Pooh

Here is a simple pep talk from Winnie There Pooh--and a big reminder that it all comes down to kindness towards oneself and forgiveness...

Painting of the Week

Equinox Health Club, East 61st Street, New York, NY

Charity of the Week:
ACLU

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About The Author

New York City based contemporary artist, Pam Smilow, began writing the creative lifestyle blog “things we love” in an effort to foster a sense of community during times of isolation and reflection. To read more about her and her art, visit her website and check out the essay written by Frank Matheis entitled The Sophisticated Innocence of Pam Smilow.

Blog No. 257: Andrea Gibson Documentary; To Make You Smile; Some of My Favorite Stores

Andrea Gibson Documentary

If I told you that this documentary COME SEE ME IN THE GOOD LIGHT, about the death of poet and activist Andrea Gibson, is full of life and joy, you probably wouldn't believe me. But it is!

Diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2021, the film documents the last year of the Poet Laureate of Colorado's life."

I first saw the film at the Camden International Film Festival a few months ago. Andrea's partner, Meg Falley, was at the showing. It made a huge impression on me and I 've been waiting for it to come out to the public so I could recommend it--and it was just released on Apple TV for all to see.. I would go as far as to say that Andrea Gibson and COME SEE ME IN THE GOOD LIGHT is a manual of how to live a good life, even in the face of death...As they realized, When I accept it (their death), all of the sweetness trickles in....then I get to be with life." And they realized, "whatever you are feeling right now, whether it be fear or sadness, just call it love..."

Their partner, Meg Falley, in addition to their own substack, is carrying on their legacy by taking over Andrea's substack and they have found a beautiful way to continue to celebrate Andrea's beautiful life...I recommend, if you are interested, to delve into the lives of these two extraordinary human beings, who meet unbelievable challenges with strength and grace...

A Few Joyous Moments to Make You Smile Today

These very short clips, taken from instagram and facebook, will make you smile and celebrate the beauty that is human...We all need to focus more on this--after all, kindness and compassion are traits that the majority of people have--the news is just focused on the wrong things...

This one little kid turned a whole subway car into pure joy: Pure joy

Beautiful at a grocery store We could all do this, at least once in a while, at the grocery store

Story about a biker and his daughter. You will thank me after reading--it is really an unbelievable beautiful story...

Sweet wonderful dog story

Local Shopping

I am trying my hardest to stop shopping at amazon unless I am totally desperate for something I just can't get up here in Maine. But for the holidays, I have vowed to just shop local and I am going to share with you my favorite stores in Damariscotta, Newcastle and Wiscasset, Maine. Although they may be far away for many of you, I think they are available for online orders and if not, let this serve as a reason for you to shop local too in your area...

BEACH PLUM

BEACH PLUM, 77 Main St ste b, Newcastle, ME 04553, (beachplumcompany.com) Love this store, full of a lot of fun and unusual items, all in excellent taste with an eye for the playful, the colorful and the modern. Items I had my eye on last visit were these really cool shaped animal rugs, unique rice paper jelly fish and star lamps, great dishware made in Portugal, fun puzzles, beautiful local jewelry, all kinds of candles, ornaments, and a very big of variety of very Christma-y- things! And as a bonus, Amanda is a true artist in that creates out of paper mache amazing giant window displays that go with the seasonally...

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THE KINGFISHER & THE QUEEN!

THE KINGFISHER AND THE QUEEN, 79 Main St, Damariscotta, ME 04543 (www.thekingfisherandthequeen.com) I always find really interesting things in this store--an eclectic combination of vintage inspired and new products, many things from Scandinavia and France. For this time of year, they transform their already beautiful store into a European Christmas wonderland complete with carefully curated items from the other side of the pond! They have a great children's section too--nice wooden toys (you won't find plastic here), really cute, high end children's clothing, and some of my favorite children's authors (Swedish Elsa Beskow, Astrid Lindgren's Pippi Longstocking, and Jan Brett to name a few...The store is scattered with literary references, handwritten quotes and often features a poem a week in the window.

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ROCK PAPER SCISSORS

ROCK PAPER SCISSORS 68 Maine Street, Wiscasset, ME 04578 (rockpaperscissorsmaine.com) is one of my favorite stores in the world. I have a long history with this place--it was a yearly tradition that we could stop by on our way back to New York from our vacation in Maine on Labor Day weekend and Morgan would get to choose her school supplies for the upcoming year. They carried the coolest folders and pens, some of it from Japan, and this ritual brought my daughter a lot of happiness and excitement about going back to school. The selection in general here is amazing--dishware, children's toys, wonderful stationary, jewelry, a huge choice of not your run of the mill cards, textiles, ceramics, arts and craft books, and on an on. Wonderful stuff!

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IN THE CLOVER

IN THE CLOVER, 85A Main St, Wiscasset, ME 04578 (inthecloverbeauty.com) also in Wiscasset, right across the street from Rock Paper Scissors, is my clothing store of choice up here. They carry a great selection of women's clothing--the kind of stuff I like to wear--as well as jewelry, lots of bodycare products, scarves, and an abundance of terrific sweaters right now...They also have a carefully curated choice of a few books, all worth reading. The owner haw great taste and I go in there at my own risk--I can't just go in to browse--I always come out with something I love...

Paintings of the Week

Dress Series I, II, III each mixed media on paper 30” x 22” $1500

Charity of the Week:
ACLU

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About The Author

New York City based contemporary artist, Pam Smilow, began writing the creative lifestyle blog “things we love” in an effort to foster a sense of community during times of isolation and reflection. To read more about her and her art, visit her website and check out the essay written by Frank Matheis entitled The Sophisticated Innocence of Pam Smilow.

Blog No. 256: Laura Lynne Jackson, Guided: The Secret Path to an Illuminated Life, The Telepathy Tapes Season 2

Laura Lynne Jackson

Today I devote this blog to an extraordinary human being and I am proud to say, my friend: Laura Lynne Jackson. She is a psychic medium, and one of the most tested mediums in the entire country, most extensively by the Windbridge Research Institute in Tucson, Arizona.

Beginning at the age of 11, Laura knew something about her was different--on a hot day in the middle of July, swimming in the family pool, a feeling came over her and she insisted on going with her mom to visit her grandfather, even though her mom tried to convince her to stay home to stay cool in the pool... She knew right then and there that her grandfather was about to die and that this would be her last chance to see him one more time (he hadn't been sick previously). At that early age, she thought she was a freak and it made her very uncomfortable and ashamed but thanks to her wonderful mom, she explained to Laura that it was okay, there was nothing wrong with her--in fact it was a great gift that actually ran in the family...

Jackson's first book is entitled THE LIGHT BETWEEN US, and for anyone curious about mediumship, this is the book to read. No woo woo here, Jackson explains about her life and in a very clear way what it is like for her to receive the information she does and how it works in her mind...This is a great book for starters and an introduction to the paranormal...

Her second book entitled SIGNS: THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF THE UNIVERSE (you might have seen it around as it is extremely popular), explains her belief that we all have the ability to connect with our loved ones on the other side and through many amazing examples, shows how ordinary people can ask for certain (nothing is too outlandish) signs and they will receive them. Very comforting for those who are going through grief, her books are also mind expanding about the nature of reality and even the most skeptic of all skeptics has to at least entertain the idea that there is something more here...

Jackson's third book: GUIDED: THE SECRET PATH TO AN ILLUMINATED LIFE, another extraordinary book, was just released on 11/11/2025. I write more about it in the next segment...

click image to hear an interview with Laura Lynne Jackson

Click image to hear an interview about SIGNS: The Secret Language of the Universe

Guided: The Secret Path to an Illuminated Life

Laura Lynne Jackson and me at the launch party of her new book Guided

Some of the people whose stories are included in Guided: The Secret Path to an Illuminated Life

It is my great honor and with enormous gratitude that I share with you that I am included in Laura Lynne Jackson's latest book: GUIDED: THE SECRET PATH TO AN ILLUMINATED LIFE (Chapter 17). The book features people that the author felt guided towards and I had the amazing fortune to be one of those chosen. Through anecdotes and descriptions of our individual experiences, Jackson illustrates and shows examples of what it is like to listen to one's intuition, what it means to be open to the universe and what existence has to offer us beyond our frontal lobes...

I first met Laura Lynne Jackson when I attended a workshop of hers at the Open Center in New York City quite a few years ago. In it, she showed the participants that our souls live on, that the energy does not dissipate, and that everyone is able to connect with their loved ones if one remains open to it. We did various exercises to show that we all have powers well beyond what we experience in the day to day. The one exercise that stood out to me was with very rigid, long parfait spoons that she handed out. She explained that with the group energy of 100 people in the room, we were to concentrate on bending our spoon, even though the task seemed impossible because they were extremely rigid and not bendable at all...I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't done it myself but every person in that room bent their spoon, mine into a horseshoe and some people's spoon released more than once into a pretzel..That workshop opened my mind and in many ways changed my life...

I am at a time when things have just synched up from different aspects of my life: art and creativity-wise, my understanding and acceptance of myself and who I am, what I want to focus on in the future, and I am able to see more clearly the meaning in my life.. The synchronicities, which I used to think of as just coincidences, just keep coming on a daily basis. My Jungian therapist called this "being in the Dao"--experiencing a flow like the ins and outs of our breath... I have to say this is one of the reasons I am enjoying getting older... The chapter on me in GUIDED actually contributed to a better understanding of myself in a more wholistic and cohesive way...Thank you Laura for that and I also would like to acknowledge and thank Alex Tresniowski who worked with Laura on GUIDED and helped me also to see myself in a new broader light... ..

I can't say enough about the book or about the fascinating stories and people that are featured. Laura Lynne Jackson is the real thing and all of us have a lot to learn from her...

The Telepathy Tapes Season 2

Some people say we are on the cusp of a big change--that those who embrace love will survive and those who insist on our current path of disharmony and hate will stand to lose...The Telepathy Tapes Season 2 for me maps out that change--the acceptance that the world is not what it seems and that there are amazing things going on that defy the current model of what we think life is.

After losing my husband Gert in 2013, many of you know that I set out to try and figure out where he went, what death was all about and whether consciousness survived our bodies...Season 2 of The Telepathy Tapes covers and spells out very clearly so much of what I discovered over my ten year research on death and dying...So much of what they talk about will blow your mind. If there is one podcast I highly recommend, I can guarantee you that if you embrace it, and as far as I can see, you have no reason not to, it will change your life...

And as synchronicity would have it, I came at the Telepathy Tapes totally independent of Laura Lynne Jackson, but she is the focus of Season 2, Episode 2 of Ky Dickens Telepathy Tape Podcast...

Paintings of the Week

My newly painted studio in my newly moved in space in Damariscotta, Maine. Still not totally inaugurated and looking a little pristine…Thank you Michael Gorman for doing such a great job tranforming the space by painting the walls white…

Charity of the Week:
ACLU

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About The Author

New York City based contemporary artist, Pam Smilow, began writing the creative lifestyle blog “things we love” in an effort to foster a sense of community during times of isolation and reflection. To read more about her and her art, visit her website and check out the essay written by Frank Matheis entitled The Sophisticated Innocence of Pam Smilow.

Blog No. 255: A Simple Profound Thought, Psychic Comedian Peter Antoniou and Mentalist Oz Pearlman, The Mighty Sweet Potato

A Simple Profound Thought

Pam Smilow All You Need is Love, mixed media on canvas 54” x 54”

Today I share a simple profound thought, wonderfully expressed by a sweet little girl on youtube. And in the background is a beautiful song entitled Je Te Laisserai Des Mots by Canadian singer songwriter Patrick Watson. I love this song. If you like the sound of it too, to hear more of his music, click here.

Peter Antoniou and
Oz Pearlman

Oz Pearlman who calls himself a magician/mentalist.

Peter Antoniou who calls himself a comedic magician/psychic

I am very interested in mediumship and psychic abiltiies and know the real thing when I see it--stay tuned next week for a piece on the amazing and very real psychic medium Laura Lynne Jackson. But in the meantime, I am trying to figure out whether Peter Antoniou, who deems himself a Comedic Magnician/Psychic, and Oz Pearlman, who calls himself a Magician/Mentalist are really mind reading or just highly skilled magicians, as they sometimes call themselves.

Last year I attended a performance of comedian/psychic Peter Antoniou at the Waldo Theatre in Waldoboro, Maine. Peter has appeared in many interactive shows in the United States and Europe (he is British), on London's West end and including an America's Got Talent performance, and he has even headlined in Las Vegas. His performance puzzles me to this day. How does he do what he does?!? I have seen true mediums and psychics before so I don't doubt that people have abilities way beyond what we can imagine but still my reaction to him was the same as the hosts of America's Got Talent--one of disbelief, awe and wonder. I was one of the audience members he chose out of the blue and to this day I have no idea how he knew very specific things about me and seemingly was able to read my mind, with facts he had no way of knowing...He knew I was about to travel and to where, even told me I need to go to Las Vegas--that's where I will make a lot of money selling my paintings. I haven't been yet so it is yet to be tested...

Last week I saw another of these mind-reading "mentalists" named Oz Pearlman on MSNBC's Morning Joe and again, it blew my mind. As it did too for Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski. Have a look at this Morning Joe segment of last week and if you can figure it out, please tell me in the comments how he knows what he knows...

Oz Pearlman has a new book out where he apparently explains somewhat how he does things...It is entitled Read Your Mind: Proven Habits for Success from the World's Greatest Mentalist.I plan on reading it...

Sweet Potato Recipes

Sweet potatoes are really healthy for you! Native to Ecuador, they are loaded with vitamin A, packing almost 700% of the recommended daily value in one medium potato. They also have about twice the vitamin C of other potatoes and are a great source of potassium. Just in one medium sweet potato, they have approx. 103 calories
2 g protein
0 g total fat
24 g carbs
4 g fiber
7 g sugar
43 mg calcium
62 mg phosphorus
31 mg magnesium
542 mg potassium
21,909 IU vitamin A
22 mg vitamin C

Here is a recipe that looked inspiring to me:

AFRICAN INSPIRED PEANUT AND SWEET POTATO STEW
INGREDIENTS
* 2 tbsp olive oil
* 1 medium onion diced
* 3 garlic cloves minced
* 1 tbsp fresh ginger grated
* 1 tsp ground cumin
* 1 tsp smoked paprika
* ½ tsp ground coriander
* ¼ tsp cayenne pepper optional, for heat
* 1½ lbs sweetpotatoes peeled and diced into 1-inch cubes
* 1 can 14 oz diced tomatoes
* 1 cup creamy peanut butter
* 4 cups vegetable or chicken broth
* 1 can 14 oz coconut milk (optional, for extra creaminess)
* 3 cups leafy greens kale, collards, or spinach, chopped
* Salt and pepper to taste
* Juice of 1 lime
* Fresh cilantro to garnish
* Chopped roasted peanuts to garnish

INSTRUCTIONS
  * Sauté the Aromatics: Heat the olive oil in a large pot or Dutch oven over medium heat.
* Add the onion and sauté for 3-4 minutes until soft. Stir in the garlic, ginger, cumin,smoked paprika, coriander, and cayenne pepper (if using). Cook for 1-2 minutes until fragrant.
* Add the diced sweetpotatoes and canned tomatoes to the pot. Stir well to coat the sweet potatoes in the aromatic mixture.
* Simmer the Base: Pour in the broth and bring the mixture to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover, and simmer for 20-25 minutes, or until the sweet potatoes are tender.
* Stir in the Peanut Butter: Whisk the peanut butter into the stew until fully incorporated.
* If using, add the coconut milk for extra creaminess. Simmer for an additional 5 minutes.
* Add the Greens: Stir in the leafy greens and cook for 2-3 minutes, or until wilted. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt, pepper, or a pinch more cayenne if desired.
* Finish with Lime: Stir in the lime juice to brighten the flavors.
* Serve and Garnish: Ladle the stew into bowls and top with chopped roasted peanuts and fresh cilantro or parsley. Serve with crusty bread, rice, or flatbread for a complete meal. * Tips for Success: For a thicker consistency, mash some of the sweet potatoes with a fork or potato masher. Courtesy the North Carolina Sweet Potato Commission

BAKED SWEET POTATO FRIES
Courtesy Mark Bittman

INGREDIENTS: (4-6 servings)

2 lbs. sweet potatoes, peeled
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon black pepper

INSTRUCTIONS: Heat the oven to 400 degrees
Cut the sweet potatoes into sticks ¼ to ½ inch wide and 3 inches long, and toss them with the oil.
Toss the sweet potatoes in a bowl with salt, spices, and pepper..
Spread them out on 2 rimmed baking sheets.
Bake approximately 15 minutes, until brown and crisp on the bottom, then flip and cook until the other side is crisp, about 10 more minutes.

MAPLE CANDIED SWEET POTATOES
Melissa Clark

You can always count on Melissa Clark to deliver a straightforward old standard which is perfect as an accompaniment for Thanksgiving:
INGREDIENTS (serves 10 to 12)
5 large sweet potatoes (3½ pounds)
⅓ cup maple syrup
⅓ cup apple cider
3 tablespoons butter
1 cinnamon stick
2 whole cloves
1 teaspoon finely grated orange zest


Wash the sweet potatoes and prick all over with a fork. Wrap in foil and bake in a 375-degree oven until very tender. This can take anywhere from 50 minutes to 1½ hours, depending upon the girth of the potato. Thinner ones cook more quickly. Cool. Peel just before using.


Heat oven to 400 degrees and in a small pot, combine syrup, cider, butter, cinnamon, cloves and orange zest. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer until somewhat thickened, about 15 minutes. Pour syrup over sliced sweet potatoes and bake, uncovered, until bubbling and brown, 25 to 40 minutes.

Painting of the Week

Visited one of Gert Mathiesen’s paintings in a client’s home in Truckee, California on my recent trip. It made their hallway come alive which had previously just been dead space…

Charity of the Week:
ACLU

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About The Author

New York City based contemporary artist, Pam Smilow, began writing the creative lifestyle blog “things we love” in an effort to foster a sense of community during times of isolation and reflection. To read more about her and her art, visit her website and check out the essay written by Frank Matheis entitled The Sophisticated Innocence of Pam Smilow.

Blog No. 254: Flipper, Forgiveness, Carl Sandburg

Flipper

Click image for theme song

Bel Marin Keys, Novato, Califoria

On my recent trip to the Bay Area, I stayed with my new friend Emily in Bel Marin Keys, an area I had never been to before in the town of Novato (Marin County). The development of 700 homes consists of waterways and open space, bounded by tidal wetlands. One might have guessed they were in Florida rather than the Golden State--everything said lagoons, the tropics, the Caribbean to me...

The view from my friend's deck brought back great memories of one of my most favorite TV shows: Flipper. I kept expecting to see Sandy and Bud on the dock in front of the house, throwing fish to their beloved dolphin friend Flipper. And Porter Ricks showing up soon after in his Boston Whaler type skiff...If you are nostalgic and loved the TV series as much as me and my sister Judy did, have a look at a few of these episodes and tell me about it in the comments...

Sailor Bud Episode

The White Dolphin

What Happened to the Cast

Bel Marin Keys, Marin County, CA

Bel Marin Keys, Novato, California

Touching Story About Forgiveness

Found this story on facebook in several feeds. It is long but if you take the time, I guarantee it will touch you. It had me crying in the middle of my JetBlue flight back to Boston but in a good way because in the end, in the light of unbelievable tragedy and pain, it all comes down to forgiveness…

Today, that biker rolled up again—the one who sent my boy to the ICU—and for a split second, murder crossed my mind..Forty-seven days. Forty-seven days since Jake, my twelve-year-old boy, got hit crossing the street. Forty-seven days in a coma. And for forty-seven days, this biker—this stranger who destroyed my life—sat in that hospital room chair like he had any right to be there.

I didn't know his name for the first week. The police told me a motorcycle struck my son. They told me the rider stayed at the scene, called 911, did CPR until the ambulance arrived. They told me he wasn't speeding, wasn't drunk, that Jake ran into the street chasing a basketball.

But I didn't care about any of that. Someone on a motorcycle hit my boy, and my boy wasn't waking up.

The doctors said Jake's brain was swelling. They said we had to wait. They said coma patients sometimes hear everything around them, that we should talk to him, play his favorite music, remind him why he needed to come back.

I couldn't do it. Every time I looked at Jake with those tubes and machines, I broke down.

But this biker—this man I'd never met—he talked to my son every single day.

I first saw him on day three. I walked into Jake's room and found this huge bearded guy in a leather vest sitting next to my son's bed. He was reading out loud from a book. Harry Potter. Jake's favorite.

"Who the hell are you?" I'd demanded.
The man stood up slowly. He was maybe fifty-five, sixty. Big guy, probably 6'2", patches all over his vest. "My name is Marcus," he said quietly. "I'm the one who hit your son."

I lunged at him. I don't even remember doing it. Hospital security pulled me off before I could land more than one punch.

"You need to leave," the head nurse told him. "Right now. We'll call the police if you come back."

But he did come back. The next day. And the day after that.

The hospital couldn't legally ban him from the building. And my wife—God help me—my wife Sarah told them to let him stay. "He wants to be here," she said. "And Jake needs all the support he can get."

I couldn't believe she was defending him. "He PUT Jake in that coma!"

"It was an accident," she said, crying. "The police report said so. Jake ran into the street. Marcus did everything right. He stayed. He helped. He's been visiting every day because he cares."

I didn't want to hear it. As far as I was concerned, Marcus being there was torture. Every time I saw him, I saw the moment my son's life got destroyed. Finally one day, I decided to finish him and pulled out my .. gun from my jacket pocket. My hands were shaking, my vision blurred with rage. Marcus was there again, hunched over Jake's bed, his deep voice murmuring the words of *Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire*. He didn't see me at first, didn't notice the way I stepped closer, finger hovering over the trigger.

But then Sarah walked in. She froze in the doorway, her eyes widening as she took in the scene. "No," she whispered, her voice breaking. "Please, no. Not like this."

Her words hit me like a splash of cold water. I looked at Jake—my boy, so small and fragile amid the beeps and whirs of the machines. What was I doing? If I pulled that trigger, I'd be the one destroying everything. I'd lose Sarah, lose myself, and Jake... Jake would wake up to a world without his dad.

I lowered the gun, stuffing it back into my pocket before anyone else could see. Marcus turned then, his eyes meeting mine. There was no fear in them, just a deep, weary sadness. "I get it," he said softly. "If it were my kid, I'd feel the same. But I swear to you, I never meant for this to happen."

I sank into the chair across from him, my legs giving out. For the first time, I really looked at him—not as the monster I'd built in my head, but as a man. His vest had patches from veteran groups, a faded American flag, and one that said "Ride Safe." His hands, rough and scarred, held the book like it was something precious.

"Why do you keep coming back?" I asked, my voice raw.

Marcus closed the book gently. "Thirty years ago, I lost my own boy. Drunk driver hit us on the highway. I was riding with him on the back of my bike. He didn't make it. I did. Been carrying that guilt ever since." He paused, swallowing hard. "When I saw Jake lying there in the street, it was like seeing my son all over again. I couldn't just walk away. I had to try to make it right, even if it meant facing you every day."

I didn't know what to say. All those weeks, I'd seen him as the enemy, but he was just another father haunted by what-ifs. Sarah came over, placing a hand on my shoulder, and we sat there in silence for a while, the three of us united in our vigil.

That night, something shifted. I started talking to Jake myself, sharing stories from his Little League games, promising we'd go to the Grand Canyon like we'd always talked about. Marcus joined in, telling tales of his road trips, the places he'd seen on his bike. Sarah played Jake's favorite playlist—Queen, The Beatles, even some silly kids' songs that made us all chuckle through the tears.

On day fifty-two, Jake's eyes fluttered open. Just like that. The doctors called it a miracle, but I knew better. It was the voices, the stories, the love that pulled him back. He was weak, confused at first, but when he saw us—me, Sarah, and yes, Marcus—his face lit up. "Dad? Mom? Who's the big guy?"

We laughed, really laughed, for the first time in months. Marcus knelt down, eye-level with Jake. "I'm Marcus, kid. The one who helped you out when you chased that ball. Glad you're back."

Jake recovered slowly but surely. Physical therapy, check-ups, the works. And Marcus? He became part of the family. Turned out he was a retired mechanic, so he fixed up Jake's bike (the pedal kind) and taught him some basic road safety—stuff every kid should know. I even went on a ride with him once, wind in my face, feeling a bit of the freedom he talked about.

The biker who put my son in the hospital showed up again today, but this time, it was for Jake's thirteenth birthday party. He brought a cake shaped like a motorcycle and a stack of new Harry Potter books. And me? I didn't want to kill him. I wanted to thank him—for staying, for caring, for reminding me that accidents don't define us, but what we do after them does.

Life's too short for grudges. We've got a lot of road ahead, and now, we're riding it together.

Carl Sandburg Poem

A FATHER TO HIS SON
by Carl Sandburg

A father sees his son nearing manhood.

What shall he tell that son?

"Life is hard; be steel; be a rock."

And this might stand him for the storms

and serve him for humdrum monotony

and guide him among sudden betrayals

and tighten him for slack moments.

"Life is a soft loam; be gentle; go easy."

And this too might serve him.

Brutes have been gentled where lashes failed.

The growth of a frail flower in a path up

has sometimes shattered and split a rock.

A tough will counts. So does desire.

So does a rich soft wanting.

Without rich wanting nothing arrives

Tell him too much money has killed men

and left them dead years before burial:

the quest of lucre beyond a few easy needs

has twisted good enough men

sometimes into dry thwarted worms.

Tell him time as a stuff can be wasted.

Tell him to be a fool every so often

and to have no shame over having been a fool

yet learning something out of every folly

hoping to repeat none of the cheap follies

thus arriving at intimate understanding

of a world numbering many fools.

Tell him to be alone often and get at himself

and above all tell himself no lies about himself

whatever the white lies and protective fronts

he may use against other people.

Tell him solitude is creative if he is strong

and the final decisions are made in silent rooms.

Tell him to be different from other people

if it comes natural and easy being different.

Let him have lazy days seeking his deeper motives.

Let him seek deep for where he is born natural.

Then he may understand Shakespeare

and the Wright brothers, Pasteur, Pavlov,

Michael Faraday and free imaginations

Bringing changes into a world resenting change.

He will be lonely enough

to have time for the work

he knows as his own.
Courtesy Family Friend Poems

Products of the Week

Pam Smilow Tea Towels cotton/linen blend six design choices (click image) $25 each great for gifts

Charity of the Week:
ACLU

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About The Author

New York City based contemporary artist, Pam Smilow, began writing the creative lifestyle blog “things we love” in an effort to foster a sense of community during times of isolation and reflection. To read more about her and her art, visit her website and check out the essay written by Frank Matheis entitled The Sophisticated Innocence of Pam Smilow.

Blog No. 253: Human/Animal Connections, Next Steps After October 18th: We Can All Do This, Hasselback Chicken

Human Connections with Wild Animals

Those who know me know that I’m a sap for animal stories. I couldn’t help but be touched by the connection these humans have with wild animals they have had contact with. I wouldn’t try this at home, but I think a lot of what keeps us separate from the animal kingdom is fear and mistrust coming from both sides. These touching encounters brought tears to my eyes...

Next Steps: We Can All Do This

GET-OUT-THE-VOTE ELECTION DMs

Thank you Jess Craven of Substack, who really spells out a way to make sure we win everywhere on November 4th. Please copy these simple election-info messages, adapt them as you like, and then paste into text messages, emails, or DMs to friends and family in the state/city/county in question. This is called “relational organizing” and it’s actually more effective than postcarding, phonebanking, or even canvassing! People listen most to people they know! Please send these messages!

[If you see a mistake or an important election I’ve missed email me at hijesscraven101@gmail.com. I haven’t covered every single election happening but I’ve tried to get to all of the big ones. Find EVERY election happening on November 4 here.]

VIRGINIA
Hi. Hope you’re well! Just dropping a line to make sure you know about the super important elections in VA on November 4. I know you’re as worried and upset about Trump’s abuses as I am, and from what I’ve heard winning these Virginia elections is key to putting guardrails on him. Please vote for Abigail Spanberger for governor, Ghazala Hashmi for Lt. Governor, and Democrats up and down the ballot. Literally every race matters. Dems aren’t perfect but they’re pro-choice, pro-democracy, and anti-Trump. We’ve got to elect them everywhere we can. If you need help finding your polling place you can go to https://www.elections.virginia.gov/casting-a-ballot/polling-place-lookup/. Feel free to hit me up with questions and I’ll try to help answer them! Thanks!

NEW JERSEY
Hi. Hope you’re well! Just dropping a line to make sure you know about the super important elections in NJ on November 4. I know you’re as worried and upset about Trump’s abuses as I am, and from what I’ve heard winning these New Jersey elections is key to putting guardrails on him. Please vote for Mikie Sherrill for governor and Democrats up and down the ballot. Literally every race matters. Dems aren’t perfect but they’re pro-choice, pro-democracy, and anti-Trump. We’ve got to elect them everywhere we can. If you need help finding your polling place you can go to https://nj.gov/state/elections/vote-polling-location.shtml Feel free to hit me up with questions and I’ll try to help answer them! Thanks!

PENNSYLVANIA
Hi. Hope you’re well! Just dropping a line to make sure you know about the super important elections in PA on November 4. I know you’re as worried and upset about Trump’s abuses as I am, and from what I’ve heard winning these supreme court retention elections is key to putting guardrails on him and protecting the presidential elections in 2028. Please vote YES to retain Christine Donohue, Kevin Dougherty, and David Wecht. They’re pro-choice, pro-LGBTQ and pro-democracy. But there’s more! Please aso vote for Stella Tsai for Commonwealth Court and Brandon P. Neuman for Superior Court! And if you’re in Bucks or York County you have important school board races, too! Please vote for the Democrats! If you need help finding your polling place you can go to https://vote.pa/. Feel free to hit me up with questions and I’ll try to help answer them! Thanks!

CALIFORNIA
Hi. Hope you’re well! Just dropping a line to make sure you know about the super important election in CA on November 4. I know you’re as worried and upset about Trump’s abuses as I am, and believe it or not winning Prop 50 is key to putting guardrails on him–we likely can’t win the midterms without it. Please vote yes–it’s the only question on the ballot, which should have been mailed to you. You don’t even need a stamp to mail it back! If you need more info on why to vote yes this is good https://www.independent.com/2025/10/08/vote-yes-on-californias-prop-50/ Feel free to hit me up with questions and I’ll try to help answer them! Thanks!

NEW YORK CITY
Hi. Hope you’re well! Just dropping a line to make sure you know about the super important election in NYC on November 4. I know you’re as worried and upset about Trump’s abuses as I am, and believe it or not electing Zohran Mamdani is key to putting guardrails on him–Cuomo is Trump’s pick and we can’t have him winning. Please vote for Mamdani! If you need info on your polling place go here: https://www.vote.nyc/page/find-your-poll-site There are other important elections happening too. Please vote blue (anti-Trump) up and down the ballot! Feel free to hit me up with questions and I’ll try to help answer them! Thanks!

GEORGIA
Hi. Hope you’re well! Just dropping a line to make sure you know about the super important statewide elections in GA on November 4. I know you’re as worried about climate change as I am, and winning these Public Service Commission elections is actually super important to our future–and to lowering our utility bills! Please vote for Alicia Johnson and Peter Hubbard. There will likely be city elections on your ballot, too, and they’re really important. We’ve got to elect Democrats everywhere we can if we want our kids to have a livable future–and grow up in a democracy. If you need help finding your polling place you can go to https://georgia.gov/vote-early-person. Feel free to hit me up with questions and I’ll try to help answer them! Thanks!

MINNESOTA
Hi. Hope you’re well! Just dropping a line to make sure you know about the super important special elections in Minnesota on November 4. The balance of the state legislature will come down to the results and we can’t let MAGA win! If you’re in SD-47 ( Woodbury in Washington county and the southern part of Maplewood in Ramsey county) please vote for Rep. Amanda Hemmingsen-Jaeger, a Democrat running to protect a seat in the Minnesota Senate. If you’re in Minnesota SD-29 (includes much of Wright County, and parts of Hennepin and Meeker counties) please vote for Louis McNutt, who’s running to flip a seat in the state Senate blue. If you need help finding your polling place you can go here https://sos.mn.gov/election-administration-campaigns/elections-calendar/senate-districts-29-and-47-special-elections/ Thanks and please tell anyone you know in those towns!

MISSISSIPPI
Hi. Hope you’re well! Just dropping a line to make sure you know about the super important special elections in Mississippi on November 4. I know you’re as worried and upset about Trump’s abuses as I am, and winning elections for Democrats everywhere is key to putting guardrails on him. Please vote for Dems up and down the ballot. They aren’t perfect but they’re pro-choice, pro-LGBTQ, pro-democracy, and anti-Trump. We’ve got to elect them everywhere we can. If you need help finding your polling place you can go to https://myelectionday.sos.state.ms.us/VoterOutreach/Pages/VOSearch.aspx Feel free to hit me up with questions and I’ll try to help answer them! Thanks!

MAINE
Hi. Hope you’re well! Just dropping a line to make sure you know about the super important special election in Maine on November 4. I know you’re as worried and upset about Trump’s abuses as I am, and winning this election is actually key to putting guardrails on him and the MAGAs trying to make it harder to vote. Please vote NO on Question 1. This measure, championed by Maine conservatives, would upend election procedures, including by imposing a barrage of new restrictions on mail voting and requiring voter ID. We’ve got to beat it. If you need help finding your polling place you can go here . Thanks!

Douglas County, Colorado
Hi. Hope you’re well! Just dropping a line to make sure you know about the super important school board elections in Douglas County on November 4. Conservatives have a 4 to 3 majority, and the right-wing bloc has sided with anti-LGBTQ+ politicians and undermined a state health survey. But on November 4 all four seats currently held by conservatives are up for grabs. Please vote for the Democratic-supported slate (Clark Callahan, Kelly Denzler, Kyrzia Parker, Tony Ryan). School boards are SO IMPORTANT!  Find your voting info here: GoVoteColorado.com Thanks!

OTHER Counties in Colorado
Hi. Hope you’re well! Just dropping a line to make sure you know about the super important school board elections in Colorado on November 4. Aurora Public Schools, Cherry Creek School District, Jefferson County and Denver Public Schools are all having school board elections with huge consequences for kids. Please vote for the Democratic-supported candidates who won’t attack LGBTQ kids, ban books, or force MAGA ideology down anyone’s throat! School boards are SO IMPORTANT!  Here’s a bit more about these elections https://coloradonewsline.com/2025/10/16/colorado-election-2025-school-boards/
Find your voting info here: GoVoteColorado.com Thanks!

MAYORAL RACES!
There are tons of Mayoral races I didn’t have time to write texts for, but if you live in (or know people who do) Connecticut (Bristol, New Haven, Stamford, Hamden Milford, New Britain, Danbury, Norwalk, or Stratford) they have Mayoral races where Dems need to win! Miami, Fl has a Mayoral race! So does Atlanta, Georgia, Topeka, Kansas, Annapolis, Maryland, Boston, Massachusetts, Dearborn, Michigan, Detroit, Michigan, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Saint Paul, Minnesota, Manchester, New Hampshire, Gloucester Township, New Jersey, Jersey City, New Jersey, Albuquerque, New Mexico, Binghamton, New York, Buffalo, NY, Syracuse, New York, Charlotte, North Carolina, Cincinnati, Ohio, Cleveland, Ohio, Pittsburgh, PA, Columbia, South Carolina and Seattle, Washington! You can find out who the Dem candidate is here: https://boltsmag.org/whats-on-the-ballot/2025-general-election/

Hasselback Chicken Recipe

CNN Town Hall October 15, 2025 with Bernie Sanders and AOC

Molly Baz is a passionate cook who is determined to make all of us as enthusiastic as she is about food, great ingredients and literally the joy of cooking (apologies to Julia Child for borrowing the phrase). My husband Gert always loved hasselback potatoes so I was immediately attracted to this recipe. I prefer Chicken thighs but know that chicken breasts are less fatty and healthier for you so I am always looking for a chicken breast recipe that isn’t bland and dry. I’ve made hasselback potatoes before but didn’t realize that method could be done with the breasts of chicken.

HASSELBACK CHICKEN
Ingredients
* 3/4 pound Yukon gold potatoes (about 1 large or 2 medium)
* 1 lemon
* 6-8 herb sprigs from a pack of poultry herbs (or a combination of rosemary, sage, and thyme)
* Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
* 3 tablespoons olive oil, plus more as needed
* 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
* One large bone-in skin-on chicken breast (about ¾ pound)
* With a very sharp knife. Slice 3/4 pound Yukon gold potatoes as thinly as possible. If you can't slice your potatoes thinner than about ⅛-inch thick, you can just roast all of them underneath the chicken, on the baking sheet.

* Very thinly slice 1/2 lemon. Cut 3 tablespoons butter into small cubes.

* Place one bone-in chicken breast on a work surface. Make crosswise incisions, spacing them about ½-inch apart, cutting all the way down to the bone.

* Very generously season chicken with salt and lots of ground black pepper, opening the "slices" in order to season thoroughly.

* Slide one slice of potato into each slit, as well as the lemon slices, cutting them in half if necessary to fit. Add sprigs of rosemary, sage, and/or thyme into every few folds, as well as the cubed butter, letting whatever butter doesn't fit just sit on top of the breast.

* Drizzle a small baking sheet with 1 tablespoon olive oil, schmear with your fingers to coat, and shingle the remaining potato slices on top, letting them overlap a bit to create a fish scale kind of look. Season generously with salt and pepper.

* Place the hasselbacked chicken on top and drizzle everything with the remaining 2 tablespoons olive oil, giving special attention to the potatoes in the chicken, to help them brown.

* Bake 20 minutes. Remove baking sheet from oven, tip it to one corner so the oil and butter can pool, and spoon or brush the chicken (and potatoes and lemon in the chicken) with the fat. (Feel free to drizzle more olive oil on the chicken or potatoes if anything seems dry.)

* Return to the oven and continue baking until the potatoes on the edges of the baking sheet are crisping and golden, and the lemons and potatoes in the chicken have taken on a bit of color, about 18-24 minutes more. At this point, the chicken will be cooked through.

* If you want the potatoes on the baking sheet crispier, remove the chicken to a cutting board and let rest. (If any potatoes in the chicken need more time, you can add them to the baking sheet as well, but I like the contrast of how some of the potatoes don't get entirely tender.)

* Increase temperature to 475 and return potatoes to oven until crisped to your liking, likely 8-14 minutes more.

* Squeeze the remaining lemon half over the chicken breast and potatoes, season to taste with salt and pepper, and serve.

Painting of the Week

Pam Smilow Oatmeal Tree mixed media on paper 60” x 22”

Charity of the Week:
ACLU

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About The Author

New York City based contemporary artist, Pam Smilow, began writing the creative lifestyle blog “things we love” in an effort to foster a sense of community during times of isolation and reflection. To read more about her and her art, visit her website and check out the essay written by Frank Matheis entitled The Sophisticated Innocence of Pam Smilow.

Blog No. 252: Phil Ochs, Cats, CNN Town Hall

Phil Ochs

It is a good time for us to remember Phil Ochs: the songwriter, political activist and author of more than 100 topical songs of the 1960s and 70s...I was first introduced to him at Apple Hill Camp when I was about ten years old. My parents were leftists and they sent me to what Woody Allen referred to as a "Jewish socialist summer camp" when I was a kid...That is where I learned a whole bunch of protest songs, many of them written by Phil Ochs. They have stuck with me all these years later--I still remember every word.

Here is a selection of my favorites--no better time then to revive them now and salute this very talented and prolific songwriter who died tragically way to early, when he was only 35.

I'm Not Marchin Anymore

Draft Dodger Rag

There But For Fortune

The Highway Man

Changes

If you would like to delve deeper, here is a documentary all about this remarkable combination of musician/journalist/songwriter/politcal activist.

Cats, Energy, Vibrations and Edgar Cayce

I am an animal lover. When it comes to dogs and cats, I have always been partial to dogs but this youtube video above has given me a new perspective and just might make me a cat person too...

If even just a few of these observations about felines is true, I want to learn more...Thanks to discoveries in modern science, knowledge from ancient history through the Egyptians, the Celts and the Vikings and teachings from the the trance recitations of Edgar Cayce (known as the sleeping prophet), we have learned about the extraordinary abilities of cats.

I didn't know that:
*Every purr from your cat may be more than affection, it could be the exact healing frequency your energy needed to receive...

*Cats have an ability to detect electromagnetic fields

*They can read our energy

*The Egyptians believed that cats were living portals between the physical and spiritual worlds

*A cat’s purr vibrates at a frequency of 25 to 150 hertz, which is the same frequency at which muscles and bones repair themselves.

Bernie Sanders/AOC CNN Town Hall

CNN Town Hall October 15, 2025 with Bernie Sanders and AOC

I dropped one of my segments on this blog to include this very important CNN Town Hall with Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC). They spell out all the most important issues of the day--clearly and succinctly. Please share this with any of your friends and acquaintances on the other side--these two have the ability to speak to all of us and we need to have to stop just speaking to the choir...

Painting of the Week

Pam Smilow Black Heart mixed media on paper 9” x 14”

Charity of the Week:
Indivisible
NO KINGS DAY OCT. 18th

Please show up on October 18th! and click image to donate and find a march near you… Bring a friend or two!

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About The Author

New York City based contemporary artist, Pam Smilow, began writing the creative lifestyle blog “things we love” in an effort to foster a sense of community during times of isolation and reflection. To read more about her and her art, visit her website and check out the essay written by Frank Matheis entitled The Sophisticated Innocence of Pam Smilow.