Very Funny Jokes About Aging
Laughter is the best medicine, no matter what age…
I found this entry from a fellow substacker called "Laughing attheApocalypse and it made me laugh outloud. I hope it has the same effect on you--we all desperately need to laugh more these days to counter the stress we are all feeling about our current state of affairs.
10 Hilarious Jokes That Make Growing Older Feel a Lot Less Scary:
1. My Brain Has Plenty of Storage... The problem is the search function. Yesterday I walked into the kitchen. I stood there. Looked around. Opened the refrigerator. Closed it. Opened it again because apparently I thought the answer might have appeared during those three seconds. Finally I remembered. I wasn’t hungry. I was looking for my phone. Which... Was already in my hand. If you’ve ever done this, congratulations. You’re officially participating in the world’s largest senior scavenger hunt.
2. Exercise Gets More Complicated
At twenty: You pull a muscle lifting heavy weights. At forty: You pull a muscle sleeping. At sixty: You wake up injured... And nobody knows why. Not even science. Researchers tell us regular movement is one of the best ways to protect the brain and body. Reality tells us... Standing up too fast is now considered cardio.
3. Your Back Has Become a Weather Forecast
Forget television. Forget smartphone apps. Forget meteorologists. Your lower back already knows it’s going to rain. Usually three hours before everyone else. Sometimes two days. Occasionally before the weather service. Congratulations. You’ve evolved into premium climate technology.
4. Reading Glasses Have Entered the Chat
You spend twenty minutes looking for your glasses. You finally find them. They’re on your head. Later... You search for them again. They’re hanging from your shirt. An hour later... You’re wearing two pairs simultaneously. No one notices. Because everyone else is too. This isn’t forgetfulness. It’s fashion.
5. Every Noise Has Meaning
When you’re young: You hear mysterious noises in your house. As you get older: The mysterious noises are coming from you. Your knees click. Your shoulders pop. Your ankles crack. Your neck sounds like someone stepping on bubble wrap. Every time you stand up, your body provides live commentary. At least you know you’re still operational. Mostly.
6. Technology Keeps Winning
Young people ask: “Why don’t you just scan the QR code?” Because... I spent ten minutes trying to photograph it with the front camera. Then I enlarged it with two fingers. Then accidentally ordered twelve pizzas. Technology isn’t defeating us. It’s entertaining itself.
7. Bedtime Becomes the Best Part of the Day
Remember staying out until 2 AM? Now your favorite sentence is: “I can’t. It’s getting late.” It’s 8:17 PM. You genuinely mean it. Your younger self would be horrified. Your current self has already changed into comfortable pajamas. Who’s happier? Exactly.
8. Every Conversation Starts the Same Way “How have you been?” “Oh... you know...” Then everyone spends twenty minutes discussing blood pressure, cholesterol, sleep quality, physical therapy, and which vitamin suddenly changed their life. Thirty years ago... This sounded unbelievably boring. Today... It’s premium entertainment. Growing older doesn’t eliminate curiosity. It simply changes the topics.
9. You Finally Stop Pretending
One unexpected gift of aging? You stop trying to impress strangers. You stop buying uncomfortable shoes. You stop apologizing for leaving parties early. You stop explaining why staying home sounds amazing. Freedom arrives quietly. Usually wearing slippers. Psychologists call this a shift toward emotional authenticity. Most people simply call it peace.
10. The Biggest Surprise of All
You expected aging to make life smaller.
Instead... It often makes life clearer. You laugh more easily. You forgive more quickly. You worry less about people who barely remember your name. You appreciate ordinary mornings. Coffee tastes better. Conversations matter more. Silence becomes comforting instead of awkward. The joke isn’t that you’re getting older. The joke is realizing how much energy you spent worrying about things that never truly mattered. The Plot Twist Nobody Mentions
Here’s the strange paradox. We spend decades fearing wrinkles. Yet studies on happiness consistently suggest that emotional well-being often improves in later adulthood. Many people become better at regulating emotions, focusing on meaningful relationships, and letting go of unnecessary conflict. In other words... Your face may collect lines. But your mind often loses unnecessary burdens. That’s a trade worth making.
One Last Joke
A doctor asked his 92-year-old patient, “So, how are you feeling?” The man smiled. “I have two pieces of good news.” “Wonderful,” said the doctor. “What’s the first?” “I don’t buy green bananas anymore.” “And the second?” “I don’t worry about little things either.” The doctor laughed. “So what changed?” The old man shrugged. “I finally realized... Both of those problems solve themselves.”
Maybe that’s the greatest secret of aging. Not that life becomes easier. Not that your knees magically cooperate. Not that your memory suddenly returns. But that somewhere along the journey... You discover laughter is stronger than fear. And once you can laugh at getting older, Getting older becomes a lot less scary. If this made you smile, consider sharing it with someone who insists they’re “not getting old”—even though they just stood up slowly and made that mysterious little sound.
My Tribute to Dolly Parton
Dolly Parton New Yorker Cover by Nicole Rifkin. To purchase a print of the illustration, click the image.
I Will Always Love You
Miley Cyrus
Jolene
Kenny Rogers/Dolly Parton Duet
Islands In The Stream
Lil Nas
Jolene
Pink, Brandi Carlile, Zac Brown Band
Coat of Many Colors
Carly Waddell
Here You Come Again
Whitney Houston's Version
I Will Always Love You
Zucchini Soup Recipe
Recipe courtesy of The Cozy Cook. To see more great recipes from them, click the image above.
Why do people lock their cars at the end of the summer in Maine?
It's to avoid people from leaving their homegrown zucchini there...Well, here is one idea of what to do with it.
ZUCCHINI SOUP RECIPE
Courtesy of the Cozy Cook
INGREDIENTS
2 tablespoons butter
1 yellow onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
¼ teaspoon EACH: dried rosemary, thyme, celery salt, pepper, salt
1 pinch cayenne, optional
5 cups zucchini, cut into chunks
3 cups chicken broth
1 tablespoon soy sauce, (or Worcestershire sauce)
2 russet potatoes, equal to 1 pound
1/2 cup half and half, or heavy cream
1 cup cheddar cheese, shredded
INSTRUCTIONS
* Note: There is no need to peel the zucchini for this soup unless yours is jumbo sized, in which case it's possible that the skins are tough and slightly bitter. * Shred the cheddar cheese from a block for best results. Set aside to allow to come down to room temperature. This will allow it to melt and combine into the soup smoothly.
* Melt butter in a soup pot over medium heat. Add the onions and cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Add garlic, zucchini, and seasonings. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.
* Peel and rinse the potatoes. Cut them into small pieces of equal size so that they cook evenly and quickly.
* Add the potatoes, chicken broth, and soy sauce. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer. Skim up any brown foam from the top if needed.
* Simmer, partially covered, until the vegetables are very fork tender. About 20 minutes.
* Remove from heat. Use an immersion blender or transfer to a blender in batches and blend until smooth.
* Optional: Transfer back to the heat on low. Stir in the half and half.
Photo of the Week
Beautiful wall of our Animals, Private Collection, Woodside, California
Charity of the Week:
Doctor's Without Borders
Book of the Week
About The Author
New York City based contemporary artist, Pam Smilow, began writing the creative lifestyle blog “things we love” in an effort to foster a sense of community during times of isolation and reflection. To read more about her and her art, visit her website and check out the essay written by Frank Matheis entitled The Sophisticated Innocence of Pam Smilow.
